My brain says no but my pants say off.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
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