sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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