I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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