i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
