We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
