This is not my ceiling
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize