whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
