Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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