that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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