Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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