marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
