I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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