I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what day is it and did you see me today?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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