it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
