So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
