glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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