drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Operation Purity has been aborted
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
