Girls should come with a carfax report
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just want nice things and good sex
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
