Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
