what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
