I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize