well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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