Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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