twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
