S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
