There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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