We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
