That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
