I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
