Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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