Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
