You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
