yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
