He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
