What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
