one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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