Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
