Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
