It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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