Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
