My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
