After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
