I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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