Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
