Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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