I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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