wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize