i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
