im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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