dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
