Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Alive.
So much puke
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
