take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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