As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
