i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
