I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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