then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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