Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
