wanna go halves on a baby?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
