Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
