How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
