i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
