Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
